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  • Writer's pictureShannon Duskie

Why all that ADVICE doesn't work for me

Have you ever read a book and you're like OMG That's me!! That's TOTALLY ME!! Then you read on and the book continues to describe you in full detail and all of a sudden part of the world that never made sense, was FINALLY making a little more sense? This totally happened for me with Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.

I often wondered why so much dieting & exercise advice never really worked for me. All the things that they say are supposed to make you stick with your goals

  1. Get an accountability partner

  2. Tell someone else what you're doing

  3. Post about it to social media, then you have to do it

  4. Do this specific nutrition plan

  5. Make THIS your goal

But here's the thing...I ask WHY to EV-ER-Y-THING!!

  1. Why should I have an accountability partner? Someone else can't make me do something.

  2. Why should I tell someone else what I'm doing? Don't I want to be doing this for me?

  3. Though I post my goals to social media, I've learned to be careful about it. What happens is that once I post about it, part of me actually doesn't want to do it anymore because then I feel like I'm doing it for someone else instead of myself.

  4. Why should I do THIS specific nutrition plan? What are the benefits of it as opposed to something else? Should I modify it to make it work more for me? Is this really what I want to do?

  5. Why should YOUR goals be MY goals?

Yup... all these things!! I'm constantly in a fist fight with all of my questions!! As it turns out - it's just who I am. I am a QUESTIONER.

What does that mean for me? It means I've got to figure out what's going to keep ME motivated. I don't want to do something for somebody else and I'm often discouraged if I feel like I am doing something for somebody else rather than myself. It means that I completely SUCK at accountability - even though I host accountability groups. Sometimes it means I'm in a constant web of questions trying to figure out what is going to be the best thing for me. Gretchen Rubin calls in analysis paralysis.

So - If all that advice you're getting from others...if everything you read that tells you "this is the BEST way to stick to your goals" isn't working, it DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE A FAILURE! It probably just means that you haven't figured out your way of doing things yet! So keep trying! Keep going! Learn about YOURSELF because one person's formula probably isn't the same as yours and THAT'S OK!! You'll get there!!

And if you MUST KNOW NOW what your tendency is, check out this QUIZ and totally read (or listen to) Better Than Before & The Four Tendencies.

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