A 'LITTLE' News

I've always wondered how people are "surprised" to find out they are pregnant. I mean, you either know it's a possibility or it's not, right? Well... now I kind of know. Even when I was taking the pregnancy test in my mothers bathroom, I was thinking, "I reallllllly don't think I'm pregnant!" The stick revealed a + in no time flat.

I always hesitate sharing the news with the world online because I know how many women have struggled, or are struggling to get pregnant. I know women who have lost their babies or have never been able to carry a child at all. I was one of those women with Sam and it was. so. hard.

I feel like I was lead to believe that when I was ready to start a family, then BOOM! I'd be pregnant. I was even told by doctors several times that I shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant when I asked if I should discontinue the Depo shot I'd been taking for 6, 7, & 8 years.

It was in the midst of our 2 year journey to get Sam that I started writing about it. It was the only way that I could get out what I was feeling inside. The heartbreak, the hope, the frustration, the anxiety, the depression. It was ALL. OF. THE. FEELINGS. During this time, I connected with several women in the area who had their own stories of infertility and I will forever be so grateful for them! To simply feel like you're not alone in the struggle means everything.

It was also during this time that I found a whole new appreciation for the body the way God created it. We chose to work with Dr. Hogan out of Salina who used the Catholic teachings of Natural Family Planning to help couples with infertility. During that time, we learned all about NFP and I was also helping to teach a Theology of the Body course to the high school CCD Class. I went through phases of being pissed off that I had to chart my cycle in so much detail and phases of being in awe of the way God constructed our bodies.

The day we found out we were pregnant with Sam, Drew and I had two appointments in Salina. One was a follow up with Dr. Hogan and the other was with Dr. Ablard who we were seeking a 2nd opinion on. They took a blood test just to be sure I wasn't pregnant, then called us while we were eating lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings and told us that we were, which left both Drew and I crying over our hotwings at lunch!

With Hollis, it took a few months, but I was expecting that one! I knew enough about my cycle that I knew it was a possibility, though honestly figured it wouldn't happen so easily. My cycles were still running closet to only 23 days and when I reached day 28, figured I should probably take a test. And because I'd never actually seen a positive pregnancy test, I took a picture of it and showed it to the ladies at the gym to be sure I wasn't just seeing things! They said "Nope! You're pregnant!" Ha! I'd left it on the bathroom counter for Drew to find.

Now onto baby #3. Turns out my body has figured things out. I vividly remember Drew saying to me, "I hope we're not celebrating in 9 months!" and me responding, "Nope! We're good!" Well...here we are! It took us both a little while to get past the "Holy Shit! What the hell are we going to do with three children!?" Which is partly why we chose to wait to share with people this time! The truth is - we both truly know it is a blessing and we are grateful God is giving us another child to love on!